<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Darkest Before The Dawn by boom_butterfly_effect</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22578277">The Darkest Before The Dawn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/boom_butterfly_effect/pseuds/boom_butterfly_effect'>boom_butterfly_effect</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Until Dawn (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canonical Character Death, Gen, Sole Survivor Jess, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Wendigo Josh Washington, sole survivor ashley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:29:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22578277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/boom_butterfly_effect/pseuds/boom_butterfly_effect</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashley and Jess are the only ones to survive the hell night at the Washington mansion. Now they have to figure out how to live with the deaths of all their friends while being hospitalized since the police don't believe what happened that night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The helicopter came down and picked up the two girls who survived the night, Ashley and Jessica, shivering and shaken. They tried to explain to the EMTs on the helicopter what they had just experienced but nobody believed them. They wrapped Jessica up in a blanket and took both of them to the hospital at first. Jessica had several cuts that needed attending. When a middle-aged nurse with a short black bob came to look at them, she looked at Ashley, horrified by the amount of blood on her.</p>
<p>“Are you bleeding anywhere darling?”</p>
<p>Ashley looked around herself, “I don’t think so. I think this blood is fake.”</p>
<p>The nurse’s face went from caring to annoyed, “This is a hospital girls. I don’t need you with your fake injuries. I am going to take care of those who are actually hurt.”</p>
<p>Out in the hallway, a police officer was standing with a different, younger nurse with long blonde hair put into a single braid behind her. He looked over at them every once in a while.</p>
<p>When the were done talking the nurse came into the room, “Hi girls, my name is Elizabeth. I’m gonna clean you up and then the police are gonna come talk to you about what happened, okay?”</p>
<p>Ashley nodded before clarifying, “This isn’t my blood.”</p>
<p>“Does anything hurt?” Elizabeth asked while grabbing gloves and looking at Jessica closely.</p>
<p>Jessica, who was shivering and only in underwear, nodded.</p>
<p>The nurse looked at her, closely examining the cuts that Jessica had gotten from being drug through the woods.</p>
<p>“Okay, you’ve got some pretty bad cuts. I’m gonna grab someone to help stitch you up. I’ll be right back,” She said as she got up, put her gloves in the trash, and walked out of sight.</p>
<p>A few moments later, a red haired nurse came in behind Elizabeth. She introduced herself to Jessica while grabbing gloves from the wall, “Hi, I’m Natalie. I’m gonna help clean up those cuts and get you all stitched up.”</p>
<p>Elizabeth also grabbed some gloves and a handful of disinfecting wipe singles from the dispenser on the wall.</p>
<p>“Where did this blood come from?” She asked before using the wipes to clean Ashley’s face.</p>
<p>“It’s a long story that I’m pretty sure the police would much rather hear,” Ashley sighed.</p>
<p>Elizabeth lightly pressed on the area that was red around her eye, “Does this hurt, sweetie?”</p>
<p>“A little,” Ashley winced.</p>
<p>The nurse continued to look over her exposed skin to see if there was any other physical markings. There was rope burn on her wrists, but they were minor enough to be left alone.</p>
<p>“If you’ll come with me, we’ll go over to another room and I’ll have the police officer come talk to you, okay?”</p>
<p>Ashley nodded as she got up and followed her into the available room next door to the room they were in. A man with greying hair and stubble came in. He had a clipboard in his hands and took a seat in one of the visitor’s chairs.</p>
<p>He reached out to shake her hand, “Good morning. I’m detective Jack Tate. Ashley correct? Can I get your full name for the police report?”</p>
<p>“Ashley Kendall Brown,” she said.</p>
<p>“Now. I understand you and your friend were rescued from outside a building that was on fire. Do you know who set the fire?”</p>
<p>“I-I actually have no idea,” Ashley said trying to think of who was in the house when it went ablaze, “I mean it has to be either Mike or Sam.”</p>
<p>The detective took notes before looking back up at her, “Who are these people you just listed?”</p>
<p>“Friends. There was a whole group of us up there.”</p>
<p>“How many?”</p>
<p>“Well,” she counted with her shaky hands, “There was Josh, Mike, Sam, Emily, Jessica, Matt, and-and Chris.”</p>
<p>The detective wrote down those names while Ashley began to tear up, “I can’t believe Chris is gone…He was my best friend and maybe...I-... we never had a chance.”</p>
<p>“What happened to your friend Chris?”</p>
<p>“I couldn’t move. I was so scared, and I saw it tear him apart right in front of me.”</p>
<p>“What is the ‘it’ you’re referred to?”</p>
<p>Without hesitation, she blurted, “The wendigo.”</p>
<p>“Ok… what is a wendigo?”</p>
<p>“According to flamethrower...guy...person, it’s a native american thing. You resort to cannibalism where the spirit is present and you turn into one.”</p>
<p>He nodded and began writing on the clipboard he had, “What do they look like?”</p>
<p>“Tall, skin and bones, grey-” She stopped herself when the memory of Chris’ death became too real.</p>
<p>“I think that’ll be all,” the detective said shaking her hands once more and getting up and walking to do more paperwork.</p>
<p>Meanwhile in the other room, Jessica was finishing getting stitches and bandages for her cuts and scrapes. When Natalie finished, she went to get the detective while Jessica covered herself up, wincing as the blanket slid over her wounds. Detective Tate came in, introduced himself while shaking her hand, and took a seat.</p>
<p>“Jessica, I am detective Jack Tate, and I just need to ask you a few questions about what happened last night. First things first, full legal name?”</p>
<p>“Jessica Marie Riley,” she responded.</p>
<p>“Now, do you know who or what caused the Washington’s mansion to set on fire?”</p>
<p>Jessica shrugged, “I had just found my way back from being in the mines and-”</p>
<p>“How did you end up in the mines?”</p>
<p>“I was carried, and taken and-”</p>
<p>He cut her off, “What carried you? You said something carried you. Was it one of your friends?”</p>
<p>She shook her head weakly, “No-no it was down there. It came from down there.”</p>
<p>“I-,” he took a deep breath trying to figure out what happened, “Can you describe what it looked like?”</p>
<p>Jessica closed her eyes trying to channel what it looked like, “It was tall. Grey skin. Body that looked like-.”</p>
<p>Detective Tate flipped back to Ashley’s police report, “You know it’s not nice to lie about what happened. This story you and your friend made are just wasting my time. Do you know where your other friends are?”</p>
<p>Jessica’s face had dropped at the fact he implied that the living hell she had just experienced was just a story. She shook her head and then closed her eyes. H<em>er other friends. Were any of them in the fire? W-was Mike in the fire? Was he dead?</em></p>
<p>The detective got up and walked out, shaking his head and mumbling something.</p>
<p>Natalie came back in to talk to her, “So they got in contact with your parents and they’re on the way here. Until they get here, feel free to get some sleep, you’ve had a long night. There’s also a remote to the TV if you’d rather watch that.”</p>
<p>In the other room, Ashley had been sitting watching nurses go in and out of rooms. Glimpses of other patients at this time of morning. She went to reach for her phone but it must’ve fallen out in all that mess. So she looked for a clock but there wasn’t one that she could see without coming out of her room.</p>
<p>It was then that a new lady came in, “Ashley Brown? You’ll be coming with me.”</p>
<p>“Where am I going?”</p>
<p>“Oh, they didn’t tell you. We’re going to the Cochrane Mental Health facility. You said something about a ‘wendigo’ killing your friend?”</p>
<p>“Y-,” Ashley was trying not to cry when she responded, “You think I’m crazy? Why would I make up someone that I loved dying this way!”</p>
<p>She could feel her chest tightening and things getting blurry. She went to stand up but then everything went black. The next thing she knew she was lying in a bed. She opened her eyes and this was not the ER. She groaned and heard someone say, “She’s awake.”</p>
<p>Ashley sat up and her head hurt. In fact most of her body hurt. And she wasn’t wearing her hat or shoes. She was in a pretty open room. There was a curtained off area that had a bathroom. There were bookshelves built into the far wall, bedside tables, and another bed like the one she was sitting in. At the doorway was a chair and presumably who had spoken. It was a young lady in scrubs. She stood up and had a baby bump.</p>
<p>“Do you know where you are?”</p>
<p>Ashley took another look around the room while thinking, “A psychiatric hospital?”</p>
<p>The lady nodded, “I’m Kelsey and I’m one of the MHS’ here.”</p>
<p>“What’s an M-H-S?”</p>
<p>“Mental Health Specialist,” she said, “It’s pretty much someone to watch everyone. Make sure the rules are being followed.”</p>
<p>Ashley groaned again, rubbing her left arm, “Did I pass out?”</p>
<p>Kelsey nodded, “Sometimes that happens after traumatic events, people go into shock which increases your likelihood for that. And from what I’ve heard, you’ve been through the wringer. Anywho, we need you to come help us fill out paperwork for your stay here.”</p>
<p>She stood up and felt very dizzy. Kelsey could tell so she came and lended a hand to her walking. The two of them walked out of the room, down a hallway, and over to a desk that was half of a hexagon.</p>
<p>Kelsey helped her sit in the seat across from a woman who smiled at her, “Hi. I’m Michelle and I’m one of the nurses here. If you could help me fill out these papers that’d be great. Just some basic information for our system. First thing is name, birthday, and reason you’re here.”</p>
<p>“Ashley Brown. November 15th. 1997. As for why I’m here, I don’t know. I got sent here from the ER.”</p>
<p>“Why were you in the ER,” Michelle asked, looking up from the paper.</p>
<p>Ashley scoffed, “How long do you have?”</p>
<p>“Give me the short version.”</p>
<p>“My friend Josh invited our friend group up to his family’s cabin. There were pranks, monsters, and now I know 3 are dead. I know one of them was in the hospital with me but I have no idea where she is. The other 2-” She shrugged.</p>
<p>“Sounds like an intense night. What do you mean by ‘monsters’?”</p>
<p>Ashley sighed, “You won’t believe me.”</p>
<p>“Try me.”</p>
<p>“Wendigos. Supposive native american legend that take over your body if you resort to cannibalism.”</p>
<p>Michelle leaned forward, curious, “How did you learn what they were?”</p>
<p>“There was this guy on the mountain. He had a journal that talked about how he’s been hunting them for however long. All the things he’s learned about them. Guy was weird. He lived in the mountain alone. I wouldn’t believe him if I hadn’t seen it myself.”</p>
<p>“Wow, okay,” she paused, “Back to the paperwork. Are you or have you been on any meds?”</p>
<p>“No,” Ashley said, but when Michelle didn’t look convinced she continued, “I don’t take anything.”</p>
<p>“Do you use drugs of any kind?”</p>
<p>Ashley nodded, “I smoke weed every now and then.”</p>
<p>“Were you high when you saw the...wendigo?”</p>
<p>“Not even a little bit. I wish I could say that last night was just an acid trip gone wrong,” her voice started to shake while she began to think of how she could still feel like she was living through that night over and over, “Chris…”</p>
<p>“Is Chris one of your friends who died?”</p>
<p>Ashley nodded and so she asked, “How did he die?”</p>
<p>“I-I killed him. I could’ve opened the door and I just let him die. He got his head ripped off by that thing.”</p>
<p>“The wendigo?”</p>
<p>When Ashley didn’t answer, they assumed so. She laid her head down on the desk and just cried. It was the first time she had since everything happened. Kelsey came back around and rubbed Ashley’s back while she cried.</p>
<p>They led Ashley back to her room and Kelsey resumed her spot outside the door. They wanted to give her the chance to grieve without causing disruption to the groups that were going on. Somehow she was able to sleep soundly that night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. i'm trying to reach out, i know i'll get there soon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The following morning, at 5:45 when the staff woke them up to get their vitals, Ashley decided that if she was going to be here for a while, she might as well see what kind of things they had to offer. First thing was breakfast. It seemed like all the other patients were compiling in the biggest of the recreational rooms. There was coffee to help people wake up. Ashley usually didn’t drink coffee but it was so early that she figured she might as well. She put a lot of creamer and sugar in it but it still tasted like shit. She powered through for the sake of energy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One of the staff told them to line up for breakfast. Ashley trailed behind as they went down to the cafeteria. There was a lot of food to choose from so she grabbed a plate with eggs and then an apple. She sat down at one at the table closest to the door they came in. She quietly ate while the other 9 people from the unit talked amongst themselves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After breakfast they went back to the unit and had “hygiene time” which really meant that they gave them the time to brush their teeth or shower. So Ashley took that chance. Her clothes were still disgusting and still covered in dried blood. But she didn’t have a different set of clothes so she went up to the nurses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What am I supposed to do? Cause I don’t have any other clothes,” she said, worried that she’d have to be in her disgusting, blood stained clothes the whole time she was here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One of the nurses looked over at the other and asked, “Does Ashley have any other clothes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The second nurse looked up Ashley’s file and shook her head, “Says that we reached out to what she had listed as her home address and they didn’t answer. Left a voicemail and they haven’t called us back.”</span>
</p>
<p><span>Ashley sighed. She had been staying with Matt and his family because her dad was physically abusive and Chris “would not let him put his hands on her”. So now that this has happened and he very well could be dead, it was very unlikely that she would continue to stay there. </span><em><span>Oh God</span></em> <em><span>I’m gonna have to go live with my mom,</span></em><span> she thought. Her parents had split when she was 10 and her mom ran off to Colorado with who is now her step dad. She hadn’t seen them since the wedding. She has 3 little siblings now and she hasn’t met them at all. Chris had told her not to live with her dad, and she was determined for it to stay that way, for him.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“We can get you a paper outfit to wear while we wash your clothes,” The nurse said, snapping Ashley out of her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. That’d be nice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So they gave her the clothes saying, “You can put your dirty clothes in the paper bag outside your door and we’ll wash them first.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley nodded and took her stuff to the bathroom. It felt good to have warm water running down her body. She had been feeling like she was just cold at the core and this warm water definitely helped fix that somewhat. The shampoo sucked and there was no conditioner. Just a shampoo and body wash combo. She got as clean as she could and grabbed the towel she had picked up on her way. She wrapped it around herself and looked at herself in the mirror. She gingerly touched the dark bruise around her eye. It hurt more than it had yesterday when the ER touched it. She brushed her teeth with the poor quality toothbrush they had provided. When it came time to get dressed she seemed annoyed that she didn’t have another pair of underwear to go under the paper they gave her. So she put it on commando and waited in her room for them to return her one set of clothes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A little while later, one of the MHS staff lightly knocked on her door and returned her clothes. She got dressed and looked in the mirror one more time. Her clothes almost looked like they had when she had looked in the mirror before leaving for the mansion. They were a little more worn. They too, had seen some bad shit. But just like them being cleaned, she too was having to wash away the trauma she had experienced. Not completely make it go away, but make it not as severe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she came out of her room, it was just about time for lunch. They lined up and went down to get food. She again sat at the same empty table and ate. When they got back up to the unit, Ashley sat in the corner in the big room and tried to write out everything that was replaying in her mind. She got in the zone, allowing herself to be vulnerable with her journal since she couldn’t be with anyone else. When she had finally given herself a chance to cry while writing, she put her knees up to her chest and put her face in the space between her knees. She cried for a while. None of the other patients bothered her and she was almost glad that nobody asked her to explain her emotions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she had gathered herself she just sat like that for a while and breathed. She overheard a few of the other patients talking near her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you see the new girl? She looks like a wreck. I think I overheard the nurses say that the house of that movie dude Bob Washington’s house burnt down and she was one of the people who survived.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another one replied, “I think that was on the news this morning. They were reporting that 8 kids went up there and only 2 are still alive. I feel bad for Bob and Melinda. They’ve lost all three kids in a year.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley looked over at them and they stopped talking. She got up and walked up to the tall side of the desk and looked on the shorter sides to see if it was true. Sure enough, there was Jessica. She had a long sleeve t-shirt that looked familiar. It looked too big for her though. Maybe it was Mike’s. They were going through the clothes she had brought from home. The nurses seemed frustrated at her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley slowly walked over to her, as to not scare her, “Jes-Jessica.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jess looked up and suddenly went from being emotionless to sobbing. The two embraced and the nurse behind the desk, the nurse on duty looked confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked at the notes on Ashley’s file before looking at Ashley, “How do you know her?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We were on the mountain. You know, the one from the news, where the Washington’s place burned down?” Ashley answered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you know how to get her to talk?” He gestured toward Jessica.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Ashley looked over at Jess, it was obvious that she wasn’t gonna talk to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry. Probably a lot of PTSD. You know, from being tortured and hunted by wendigoes?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nurse looked back at her file before typing again, “If you are gonna continue with your stories-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They aren’t stories,” Ashley nearly yelled, “They are what happened. I can’t speak for Jess but I-I know what I saw. And-and I know what </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed</span>
  </em>
  <span> my friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the end of her rant, Ashley was tearing up as she yelled. She took a deep breath and took Jess’ hand and led her to the line for dinner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley was behind Jessica in line, and Jess walked away shaking her head but Ashley grabbed her arm, “You need to eat. Even if it’s a little bit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They got food and sat down at the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Ashley sat down across from Jessica, she sighed, “I figure if I can yell at these people loud enough, maybe they’ll start to listen. Maybe they won’t treat me like I’m some delusional little girl who they can medicate into submission. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> they’ll have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>sense</span>
  </em>
  <span> to send the police so they can find out the truth.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica nodded, so Ashley continued, “I don’t know what happened to you, but if you need to talk to someone who believes you. I’m all ears. Whenever you’re ready to talk about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica nodded again, looking down at the table somberly. The look on her face showed she was thinking about it again. Quiet sobs came to her. Followed by some deep shaky breaths. Ashley got up from her seat and came to sit beside her. Ashley held her as she cried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once they got back to the unit, the patients spread out to their normal spots. There was one of the rooms unoccupied so the two of them walked in and sat down beside each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So I have been writing in the notebook they gave us,” Ashley said after sitting in the quiet for a while. “I started off because I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone without them questioning my sanity. I figured if you felt the need to tell someone, might as well tell yourself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica seemed to think about that option for a minute. She slowly grabbed out the notebook they gave her and opened to the first blank page. She looked at the page for a few minutes before closing it and laying it back down. She shook her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley shrugged and grabbed the remote control. When she turned it on, the news station was reporting on what happened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The police are still searching for what caused the deadly fire that burnt down movie mogul Bob Washington’s. As we reported last year, Washington’s twin daughters went missing on this same day last year. Police are investigating if the same person involved in the twin’s disappearance is to blame for the arson.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley shook her head in frustration as she turned off the TV, “No ‘8 teenagers went up there and only 2 came home’. Fuck, man. I bet the police aren’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>looking</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the others. Not like they would find much left.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica looked over at Ashley with a scrunched up face so she clarified, “There were people inside the house when it burnt down.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jess’ face suddenly went pale and Ashley placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, sighing. She didn’t think she would take it well to know that Mike was one of them, so she just kept that to herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After dinner was another hygiene time. Jessica grabbed her stuff and a washcloth and went into her room. Meanwhile Ashley went and brushed her teeth before laying in bed and writing in her journal. Diaring her first full day on the unit.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>follow @jesus-hotsauce-christmas-cake on tumblr for updates on the rest of this story</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. i can't stand to be so dead behind the eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“On Tuesday morning, movie mogul Bob Washington’s mansion up on mount Blackwood burned to the ground. Police have released a statement saying a group of 8 teenagers were up there that night, including his son Joshua, who is still missing. After almost a week of searching, they found the body of two of the teenagers in close proximity to the place where the house once stood. The female victim has been identified as Emily Davis, age 19. A 4.0 student, Emily dreamt of being a magazine editor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The news had been playing when Ashley and Jessica walked into the big room before breakfast. Ashley had been up most of the night writing by the light of the hallway night that peered into the room through the door crack and what sleep she did get wasn’t super restful. Jessica had cried herself to sleep and for once had not felt dead on her feet when she woke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both looked at the screen as Emily’s picture popped up on the screen. Ashley sighed and continued with getting her coffee. Jessica stopped dead in her tracks and looked at the TV like a deer in the headlights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The reporter continued, “Her cause of death appeared to be a gunshot at point blank. Her body was found in the basement of the lodge, but mainly intact. Police are still questioning to find out who was to blame for her murder.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon hearing this, Jessica took a shaky breath and went over to the seat beside Ashley, who had now gotten her coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley placed a hand on Jess’ shoulder as the news placed a picture of Chris on the screen. It was a picture of him, Josh, and Ashley, “The second victim found on the scene was the body of Christopher Hartley, age 19. He was voted ‘most likely to build an app’ in high school. His cause of death was decapitation. The police have not released what caused such a horrific death.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some of the other patients looked her way when they saw her face on the screen. Hearing Chris’ name and seeing his picture made Ashley feel like she had the wind knocked out of her. She slowly got up and walked out of the room looking like she had just seen a ghost. She was pale and as she approached the nurses desk, she dropped her coffee and puked right there in the hallway. She sat down beside her pile of vomit and started to silently cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michelle walked up to her and looked over at the TV screen which was still going on about the cause of the fire. Michelle helped Ashley stand up and walked her over to the desk and sat her down at the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened in there? I saw they were talking about the fire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley shook her head, tears slowly running down her face, “Chris. They found his body.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michelle looked over at her file and nodded, “What was your relationship with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- He was one of my best friends. Sure I had a crush on him, a-and he had one on me too but I didn’t know and then he was going to shoot me so-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held out her hand to cut her off, “He tried to shoot you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah,” Ashley said hesitantly, “So after I knew he was willing to kill me to save himself, I couldn’t let him inside. For all I know he would’ve pushed me out to get killed by that </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Michelle nodded and wrote something in the file before looking over at the ringing phone and picking it up, “GP unit, this is Michelle. Yes, sir. I’ll have them pulled out for you. Ok. Bye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley went to get up but as she walked away she heard Michelle say to the other nurse, “Police are coming to interrogate Ashley and Jessica.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess had walked over to the empty room while Ashley was talking to Michelle. When Ashley walked in the room, Jess was sitting with her knees up to her chest, looking downcast. She sat down across the room from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cops are coming to talk to us- well really me again,” Ashley rolled her eyes at the idea, “Just so they can call me crazy and extend my stay here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess didn’t even acknowledge what she had said. It wasn’t more than a few minutes until Detective Tate came into the unit. His hair looked even more grey than it had before. He stopped to talk to the nurses in their soundproof room behind the hexagon desk. When they got up and shook hands and came out, Ashley took a deep breath before he came into the room where the two of them sat. Ashley moved over to sit beside Jessica, who still had a sullen look on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Detective Tate walked into the room, he had a clipboard and a few folders on top of it, “Good morning ladies. Hope you don’t mind my interruption of your day but I just have some questions for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley nodded, visibly annoyed as he closed the door and took a seat opposite of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if you heard, but we found some of your friends, unfortunately deceased in or near the debris of the house. We can’t quite put together some of the questions we have, which is why I’m here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you can write down how unreliable we are, maybe charge us with muder and arson cause we’re the only ones alive, and you don’t believe that maybe we’re right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at her, deadpan, “Look, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. I want to believe you, but you’ve got to give me something to work with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at the paper in front of him and looked up at Ashley, holding a picture of Emily when she was still alive, “Do you know who killed this girl?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked over at Jessica who had looked at the picture and then at her with anticipation, “That would be Michael Munroe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I can’t.” Jessica said before walking out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Detective Tate continued after she had left, “Why did he kill her?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how much of her you found,” Ashley figured she’d humor him, “But she had been bitten by one of those wendigos that you think are fake. He was worried that it was passed along by bite. So he shot her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, “Where is Michael now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably somewhere in the ashes. He didn’t come out of the house. Neither did Samantha Giddings so you might wanna check for any of their remains. Y-Give their parents some sense of closure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His phone rang so he gathered up his stuff and walked into the hall to answer it, nodding at Ashley approvingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley got up to look for Jess. She found her curled up in the furthest corner from the room they were in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m sorry for that back there. I just- I felt if we were gonna tell him anything it might as well be… the truth,” she muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He </span>
  <em>
    <span>shot</span>
  </em>
  <span> her?” She whispered, her voice hoarse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ashley nodded, “I- It was horrible Jess. We all were so freaked out and after everything that Josh had put us through. I- I could’ve stopped him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess sat here stoic, her eyes glued to the floor. Ashley put her arm around her, “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>The rest of the day they spent curled up, isolated from everyone else, not saying a word but holding on to one another as they tried to process the loss they had experienced.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. my mind's lost in bleak visions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Good morning America, we start off with breaking news about the massive fire that took place last weekend at movie mogul Bob Washington’s house in Alberta, Canada. Police have released the names of two more of the victims they believe died that night. Samantha Giddings was 19 and her parents say she dreamt of being a conservatist and was attending UC Berkley.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley and Jessica walked hand in hand to the room where the TV was playing Good Morning America like it had every morning since Ashley got there. They took their seat as Sam’s picture was displayed on the screen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t stand hearing them talk about them in past tense,” Ashley said softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica squeezed her hand as the TV showed a picture of Mike and the reporter continued, “Michael Munroe was 19.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica curled up with her knees to her chest, holding her hands over her ears and clenching her eyes tight as they started to fill with tears. Ashley wrapped a comforting arm around her, sighing as the reporter read off the list of accolades as if it was a script from a coming-of-age movie instead of the real life of someone who was really dead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The people around the room looked over at Jessica as she started rocking back and forth in her seat, softly sobbing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay… it’s all gonna be okay,” Ashley whispered, though Jess couldn’t hear her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually it was time for breakfast and everyone began to line up but Kelsey came into the room, crouching down in front of them, “I’m sorry but you guys have to stay behind, the police are coming by again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Again? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Haven’t they done enough damage</span>
  <em>
    <span>?!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ashley grumbled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” she sympathized, “It’s unreasonable and I wish I had some say in it, but unfortunately, my opinions don’t go far when the police are involved. He’ll be here shortly, just hang tight, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once it was just Ashley and Jessica in the room, Jess peered up from her knees, her cheeks tear-soaked. They sat there holding one another until Detective Tate came into the room once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning ladies. I’m afraid today we will be having to be a bit more thorough with the questions I have. I apologize in advance but I have to get them answered so if we need to take breaks we will.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley nodded. Jessica squeezed her hand tight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me start with the good news,” he opened up the file and clicked his pen, “As much slack as I gave you, it appears that those monsters… the wendigoes… that you both described were very much in fact real.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See? We’re not fucking crazy, let us out of here,” Ashley rolled her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cleared his throat, “That is something we can consider but there’s still some blanks the police need help filling in and being as that you two are the only survivors we know of, we have to go through what you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley started, “I already told you-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m afraid it’s not you we need the most information from. Miss Riley, can you recall this night for me please?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-” her voice cracked and she shook her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay Jess, it's just us,” Ashley comforted her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She frowned, “I- I don’t remember. I- I know… Mike… we- we went up to the- to the other cabin and… and…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Was it just the two of you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded, “And this </span>
  <em>
    <span>bear</span>
  </em>
  <span> was ch-chasing us, oh god it wasn’t a bear,” she sniffled as her eyes filled with tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For the record, you believe there was a wendigo chasing you and Mr. Munroe?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yeah. It had-it </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed</span>
  </em>
  <span> this poor deer. And Mike… and then it yanked it away- and- and started chasing us the rest of the way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Detective Tate nodded, taking notes, “What else do you remember?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And then,” she closed her eyes, trying to remember, “And then we- uh- I thought that- that- you guys had followed us up and were gonna like- try and scare us or… I dunno. I went- I opened up the door and I yelled at you guys,” she whimpered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They can only see you if you move or make sound,” Ashley frowned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And that’s all I remember. I’m crazy aren’t I.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kelsey, who was standing in the doorway shook her head, “What you girls went through is very traumatic and trauma unfortunately causes memory blocks. Your brain protects you from remembering because it was too much to handle. Over time and probably with a whole bunch of therapy you’ll start to remember.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t wanna remember,” she shook her head, starting to cry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley held her close as she sobbed. Hearing Jessica’s voice as she described it all felt so comforting after the week they’d had, even if she was describing that hell of a night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Detective Tate asked for Ashley to give as much detail as she could remember from the night. Ashley told it as if it was a story, trying to forget that it was her who did all these things, her who confessed her love to Chris before he chose to shoot her, her who then locked him out and watched as the wendigo ripped his head off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she got to that part she broke, “Chris… I could’ve saved him… I could’ve… I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She started crying, the first time since that night she had let herself really grieve for them… for all of them. Jessica held her close, softly rubbing her hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Detective I think it’s best if we leave them alone for a moment,” Kelsey ushered him out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girls sat there sobbing together for a while. As they slowly calmed down, Ashley laid her head in Jessica’s lap as she began to braid it absentmindedly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You remember that time that Hannah and Beth organized a girls night?” Jessica asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley nodded, “Hannah really wanted us to watch A Walk to Remember. But Beth wanted to watch The Hunger Games.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So we settled on The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” Jess sighed and shook her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley looked up at Jessica, “I never had that growing up. Friends that were girls. I was too much of a tomboy for the people around me. They all were concerned about makeup and who would date the cute boy. I cared more about making good grades.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well you’ve got me,” she said without missing a beat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks Jess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica took a minute before saying, “I don’t know how I’m going to get better. How I’ll get back to normal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Life will never be normal for us. We lost our friends. You lost your boyfriend. I lost the first person that I could’ve seen myself being in a relationship with. Our lives have been royally fucked,” she paused, “But- at least we have each other to get through it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she smiled sadly, “We’ll get through it together.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Follow @jesus-hotsauce-christmas-cake on Tumblr for updates on the rest of the story!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. despite everything I'm still human</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ashley woke up that morning, grabbing her coffee and sitting beside Jessica like she had every morning since they’d last seen Detective Tate. The news hardly talked about Blackwood after the police ruled that it was an accident that the lodge burned down. So on this particular morning, the reporter’s voice was rather jarring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And now we have breaking news from Alberta where 2 weeks ago a freak accident which resulted in the death of several teenagers and the destruction of movie mogul Bob Washington’s lodge on Blackwood mountain. After an intense search they have found the body of the Washington’s son, Josh. The family is asking that you respect their privacy as they grieve the loss of their son.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley sighed as they displayed the same picture they had for Chris. The three of them smiling for the camera. Her face went pale and her hands started to tremble as the memory of Chris’ head rolling toward her, completely dismembered from his body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica reached out, taking her hand in hers, whispering reassuringly, “It’s okay Ash.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley stayed quiet. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m the only one left. I should’ve let him in. I should’ve died. I-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Miss Brown,” Detective Tate’s voice cut through her thoughts. He waved her over to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley got up, walking toward him into the empty room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now as I’m sure you’re aware, your friend Matthew is no longer with us. I was informed you had been staying with his family, why is that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- My dad- he- he hit me and Chris said I wasn’t allowed to stay with him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see,” he nodded, “Well upon your release, you will not be returning to their care.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please,” her voice cracked, “Please don’t make me go back to-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No ma’am. The Riley family has requested you stay with them, specifically-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me,” Jessica stood in the doorway smiling, “I- I don’t know if I could go on without </span>
  <span>you. We’re in this together remember?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley smiled, nodding, “Of course. Thank you Jess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You both will be discharged this afternoon to return home. Kelsey will be briefing </span>
  <span>you on that matter. On behalf of the Washington family, my deepest apologies for your losses. And-” he sighed, “I do hope you two find a way to cope with your situation. As I always say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and you have proven to be much stronger than you think.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You getting sappy on us Detective?” Ashley teased.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled softly, “I wish you both the best.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Jessica said softly. He nodded and walked out of the room, leaving the two of them sitting alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the day went in routine with the rest of them and after lunch Kelsey pulled them aside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay so I’m going to prepare you guys to leave. First things first, go collect anything you have and are bringing home and we’ll load them up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them went to their joint room, picking up the things Jessica had brought and shared with Ashley, along with the clothes she had been wearing that night. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She paused with the jacket in her hands, thinking about it all, her eyes started to tear up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ash, you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “I had the chance to save Chris,” she mumbled, “I had the chance to let him into the lodge but there was this nagging feeling. Like, what if he comes inside and shoves me back out? I mean he already shot me-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He...shot you? H-how?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashley sighed, starting to spiral. She had just seen them. Emily. Matt. What had she last said to them? For that matter, what had she said to Sam? To Mike? To Chris? She had been so traumatized by almost dying at his hands, what had she said to him before she </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually killed him</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shook her head, her whole body shaking as she stared at the jacket, “Josh… he tortured us… an-and he gave Chris a gun and- and said it was me or him. He had to shoot and he- he shot me. It’s not FAIR! IT’S NOT FAIR!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that last remark she collapsed on the floor, clinging the jacket to her chest. She didn’t even notice that there was anyone in the world besides her and her memories flooding back. Watching Chris’ head get ripped off by the wendigo, Mike </span>
  <em>
    <span>shooting</span>
  </em>
  <span> Emily, Josh revealing that it was all his idea to have Chris almost kill her. The thing that got the most to her was knowing that a few hours before she killed him, Chris had told her that spending time with her was all he ever wanted to do with his time. They had always danced around the topic of feelings. They had finally admitted it, and there was never even a chance, because she had the choice of saving his life and she didn’t. She didn’t let him in. She killed him and now she had to live with the guilt of that for the rest of her life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica came and wrapped her in her arms as Ashley sobbed. They sat there, the only sound being the disordered breathing from Ashley as she tried to compose herself. And just like she had the first night there, she calmed herself down and got up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica didn’t pry, helping Ashley pack up her stuff before they went out to the nurse’s station and finished the discharge paperwork. Jessica’s mom came a few hours later and Kelsey walked them out of the building for the first time since that night. The sunlight hurt Ashley’s eyes as she took in the deep breath of the cold Canadian air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And just like that, they went back to Jessica’s family home in California and the two of them tried their best to get back to normal. It would never be quite the same, but the two of them managed to find their new normal… together.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you guys for reading this fic and supporting me as I've written it! <br/>Hope you enjoyed it!<br/>xoxo, <br/>boom_butterfly_effect</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>follow @jesus-hotsauce-christmas-cake on Tumblr for updates about the rest of the story.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>